Trusting

Honestly, sometimes I just want to scream. I don't know why things have to be so hard and complicated; why can't we just be? Why do we always have to second guess things? Does God intend for us to be so wishy washy? THIS is the problem with meaning. No one knows themselves what they mean or how they feel, so how in the world can someone else even begin to understand how someone feels? And since we can't know if we feel something because we do or because we are just fooling ourselves, and we, likewise, can't know if someone else feels something for real or not, then what are we left with? All we can do is cast down everything that sets itself against the pretensions of Christ.
Romantic movies have set us up believe that if things are meant to be, you will both pick the same elevator floor, or that you can write your phone number in a book and the right person will find it in a second-hand bookstore. But what if that's not how God works. What if what it takes is commitment? What if trusting God means being committed to not running away--trusting that if you feel led to, it's okay to choose to pick the same floor on the elevator as someone else? What if trusting God means trusting that He has given you a love, a passion for someone or something, and He wants you not to ignore it?