You believe that we were never friends,
And we were never dating.
So maybe I did imagine it all.
The scenes play over and over in my mind,
Like a bad movie that you wish you had never seen.
I only kept watching because I wanted to see the ending.
I wanted to resolve this mess and rectify your wrongs,
But justification never came.
I loved you, didn’t I?
I took your hits of blame and control,
Seeded with the weight of the hurt you carry,
Always thinking I was waiting for you to heal.
And since I loved you enough to stick around
And be understanding of where you have been,
I thought that things would get better.
But redemption never came.
We never got better. We could never heal
From the ways you threw my pearls before the swine
Time and time again.
And the damned thing is, I let you.
I handed them to you. It must be my fault.
People are supposed to learn from mistakes
And grow stronger and wiser in time.
I thought I was learning, I thought I was being refined.
But sanctification never came.
Maybe you were right,
We were never friends or dating
because after dating, I couldn’t just be your friend.
And after being hurt, I couldn’t truly be with you
Because there were too many walls.
I thought it was only your walls that hurt us,
But in the end, it was the walls I didn’t even know I had up
That made you and me an impossibility.
Donc le chagrin qui marque mon coeur,
Le chagrin que j’ai apporté pour si longtemps,
Il doit être tué.
And why? Because I can live without you.
And it’s time I started resting in that truth
So that my restoration can come.
What is this poem a reprise of? Find out here!