Thursday, December 25, 2008


I've always been afraid that one wrong move on my part would mess up God's whole plan for me. I remember when I was thinking about which college to choose, I imagined that there were two paths at a fork in the road, and I had to choose the correct one because God was only down one of them. That's when God reassured me that A. take one step at a time! and B. I am with you WHEREVER you go. God would be with me at whatever college I had chosen. I wrote a poem last year that played on the distress signal of mayday, and I don't know how they spell that as a distress signal, but its origins are from the words m'aidez, which is "help me" in French. Anyway the poem is me asking God what his plan is, and I'm at the end of my rope. So I retreat, and I say God, m'aidez! And he says to the angels, mayday someone is messing up the plan! As if me retreating from the situation was messing up his plan. I asked the questions, "Am I messing up the plan by giving up?/ Is he messing up the plan by being afraid?"
But my point is... how preposterous to think that little old me could mess up God's sovereign plans with one stupid little blunder?? My Almighty God's perfect will messed up by me having a word vomit situation or some other small mistake?
I trust that my God is WAY bigger than me. I trust that His plans will not be ruined, detoured, or prevented by my dumb mistakes because He is so much more powerful than that! God is taking care of me. Cuz let's face it... I'm a dumb human. I feel like sometimes God slaps me on the back of the head as if to say, why did ya do that, Jess? I'm not talking about sinning, but just wrong ways of handling situations, I guess. I'm definitely guilty of handling situations incorrectly, but God always steps in and says, whydya do that? But He loves me! He loves me so much, and He rescues me everytime.
It brings to mind a song that I absolutely love by Ten Shekel Shirt called "You Rescue." This song is so comforting to me because I feel so powerless all the time. There's a situation in my family that I just can't do anything about... and it hurts so much, but I have to remember that God is sovereign, and He rescues, He intervenes. "He will NEVER stop restoring what's been lost." And in other situations that I'm dealing with, all I can do is keep pressing on, knowing that God rescues and restores our lives. I just have to trust that I'm not going to mess it up by making a wrong move. God has a plan, and it will be.

"remember the former things of old; for I am God, and there is no other; I am God, and there is none like me, declaring the end from the beginning and from ancient times things not yet done, saying, 'My counsel shall stand, and I will accomplish all my purpose,'" (Isa. 46:9-10)
"For the LORD of hosts has purposed, and who will annul it? His hand is stretched out, and who will turn it back?" (Isa. 14:27)

Yes, God is bigger than the boogeyman. Which is good cuz sometimes I, myself, am the boogeyman.

1 comment:

n said...

I think God's sovereignty really does afford us that kind of peace. It's a hard peace to find, since our minds can be so focused on what's happening immediately, and we become enamored with doing, doing, doing, doing, doing to try to make things go our way... but God's way is the way He will have it, and we can do nothing but say, "God... it's Yours. It always was." It brings to mind a song that I absolutely love, too, called "Eye of the Storm" by Cool Hand Luke... but you probably already knew that.